Seems common sense, but I am noticing the need to give to myself. I withhold giving to me when I feel all is NOT well. This is crazy. This is when I most need to feed me. It’s related to not asking for help. Not calling a buddi, a mentor or coach when ‘stinking-thinkin’ takes hold. My not ‘All’s well’ turns into a type of self punishment that feeds the must’s, shoulds, ought’s & have too’s of ‘stinking thinking’. A very negative feedback loop.It seems to be epidemic, I find that if I haven’t heard from a buddi for a while they can be caught in their own version with a similar noose.
It is possible to spend a lot of time making excuses, believing the really big lies for not receiving:
I don’t deserve.
I am not good enough.
I don’t belong.
All common forms of self-abasement from childhood imprints that years in therapy, seminars, a library of self help book, prayer, & meditation may not give relief or the common sense to ask for help, or reverse the process by giving to others.
We give to others for love, for their attention, to pay the rent. What & how can we give to ourselves? How can we replenish our coffers? It’s a balance, time spent giving necessitates time spent receiving.
For years I had bowling as a gift to myself. I was good, & bowling was good to me. I practiced paying attention, developing my skill, learning the nuances of the game. Being competitive keep me in my body while taking my attention off business & gave me strength for creativity, family & friends & an overall feeling of ‘All’s well.’Now I have NIA & Zumba dance classes, Toastmasters, Chi Gong, & golf (a practice of being cheerful no matter where the ball goes) & writing Church of Attention each week. They all are gifts to me.
It can be as simple as get back in your body by taking a walk, dancing, playing sports, or gardening. Giving to yourself the gift of being present is one way of getting back into the now, out of your head & back into your “All’s well.’