A teaser is my least favorite non-violent identity. I do not like being teased!
The definition of Tease comes from an old-world word used in shearing sheep. The root of the word tease is from an attempt to pull apart; derived from how the sheep wool tangles were separated to create fibers for cloth. To tease is a useful shearer worker verb. A skill involved in creating the thread for fabric to control the comfort, protection, and beauty of the thread. But tease has evolved into “To annoy or pester; to vex. To make fun of; mock playfully. To arouse hope, desire, or curiosity without affording satisfaction.”
My father teased me. It was his way of giving me attention. It hurt me. I decided I would not tease others. I did not want others to experience that pain. Thanks, dad, for the lessons and learning to not be a teaser.
Teasing can be good-natured jesting or poking fun at a too large an ego. Many families and friends play the teasing game with great intensity and clever turns of phrases. It is a form of attention. For some being teased is a form of caring, a show of love.
Comics often use teasing as the shtick for humor in stand-up comedy. It is degradation as an art form, and self-abasement as a way of earning a living.
For me teasing felt like a way my father was rejecting me. It felt stupid and wrong.
Why would a father, any family member, or anyone in general reject anyone else?
Is it because the other person is different?
Did they tease out of fear, or anger, or because they didn’t know a better way?
Is there a positive intent when being teased? Teasing can be painful, so is there a positive intent behind pain?
I felt a lot of pain from my gout and found a positive intent. Though I suffer the pain, I am not miserable. The positive intent of gout was a further awareness of my body. A greater acceptance in learning to like what I/it dislikes.
I write to free myself and others who have been teased to release their fixed attention on the pain and to feel the fun and positive intention of teasing. To mock our over inflated egos playfully with good intent. To be gentle so that the teased feel the love.
Show care when teasing a child. Let the child be with their miss takes. Support their challenges and sufferings without vexations.
We are all doing the best we can with the information we have. We can use a helping hand, a gentle heart, and a kind word. Maybe save the teasing for your own selves.