Someone asks you, "Who are you?" How do you answer?
Most of us reach for labels immediately: "I'm a teacher," "I'm a parent," "I'm an entrepreneur," "I'm a writer." We define ourselves with nouns—fixed categories that feel safe and familiar. But what if this very habit is limiting our potential and trapping us in boxes of our own making?
The Prison of Labels
Here's what I think, feel, and sense about who we are: I am a verb. Verbs change. It's tough to change as a noun.
When you define yourself as a noun, you create what I call "fixed attention"—the type of attention trapped in a square or a box. You become the teacher who can't learn, the parent who can't play, the professional who can't be vulnerable, the expert who can't admit uncertainty.
Think about it: when someone asks "Who are you?" and you reply with labels, you're essentially saying, "This is my permanent container. This is my unchanging form." But life doesn't work that way. Life is fluid, dynamic, constantly evolving.
The Liberation of Being a Verb
I am a writer, a speaker, a carpenter, a father, a husband, a cook, a dancer—I am all that and more. But fundamentally, I am a verb. An action without the need for qualifiers like "very," "really," "obviously," or "actually." My verbs stand on their own, just as I do.
My criteria, as a verb, are simple: being present, here, and now.
Being a verb doesn't mean I'm trapped in constant doing. I can still be a human being while embracing the flexibility of human becoming. I'm comfortable with the great pleasures and challenges of doing nothing—not thinking, not fretting, no worry or wanting, just flowing.
The Challenge and Gift of Label Freedom
When you embrace being a verb, you enter what I call "Label Freedom"—and it comes with unique challenges. Without fixed labels to define you, you enter territories of the unknown. Chaos and confusion can arise: "I don't know what I am doing, going, or even being."
Labels protect us from uncertainty. They're footholds, safety nets, comfortable ways to fix our attention and avoid the discomfort of not knowing. But they're also prisons that prevent growth and authentic self-expression.
Label Freedom opens the door into the room of questions:
What is happening right now?
Where am I in this moment?
Why am I here?
Who am I becoming?
How does life work in this situation?
What wants to emerge through me?
Attention as Your True Identity
This is a main principle of living consciously: attention is a verb, not a noun. We are verbs. It's liberating to realize we ARE our attention—an action, not a fixed object, person, place, or thing.
Attention is:
Flexible and fluid - it teams well with other qualities and disappears when we try to pin it down
Naturally curious - maybe anything that isn't interesting simply has no attention directed toward it
Inherently inspiring - perhaps what lacks inspiration is missing conscious attention
Healing and caring - what isn't caring or healing might be starved of loving attention
The carrier of change - what doesn't change has attention stuck, glued, and limited
Your attention exists on a continuum—from mindless, mechanical sleepwalking (merely breathing attention) all the way to conscious, creative awareness of designed and deliberate action aimed with intent toward purpose and meaningful outcomes.
Breaking Free from the "Habit Police"
When you choose to live as a verb, you're essentially becoming an outlaw to what I call the "habit police"—those internal and external forces that serve and protect "what has always been." These forces enforce:
The unconscious traps of sleepwalking through life
The drills of automatic negativity
The collars of always having to be right
The shackles of avoiding mistakes at all costs
The handcuffs of "already knowing" everything
Children naturally understand this. They flirt with being outlaws every day. When freedom offers them a chance for authentic self-expression, they want to ride that bronco! They instinctively know they're verbs before the world teaches them to be nouns.
Your Daily Verb Practice
So how do you live as a verb? Here are practical ways to embrace your flexible nature:
1. Question Your Labels
Each time you introduce yourself with a noun, pause and ask: "Is this who I am, or just something I do?" Notice how it feels to say "I write" versus "I am a writer."
2. Embrace "I Don't Know"
Instead of rushing to label experiences, get comfortable with uncertainty. Let yourself exist in the space between categories.
3. Focus on Present Action
Ask yourself throughout the day: "What am I doing right now?" rather than "What am I?" This shifts your identity from fixed to flowing.
4. Practice Response Flexibility
When situations arise, instead of responding from your habitual role, ask: "What does this moment call for?" Let your response emerge fresh.
5. Celebrate Change
Notice when you act differently than usual and celebrate it. "Wow, I'm not being my usual self—I'm being present to what's needed now."
The Noun or Verb Choice
Every moment, you have a choice: Will you be a noun or a verb?
Choosing to be a verb means:
Embracing uncertainty as fertile ground for growth
Allowing yourself to surprise yourself with new responses
Living from presence rather than past patterns
Staying curious about who you're becoming
Flowing with life rather than rigidly resisting change
It's not always easy. The safety of labels calls to us, especially when we're scared or stressed. But in those moments of choice lies your greatest power—the power to define yourself not by what you've been, but by what wants to emerge in this moment.
Your Verb Revolution
Starting today, experiment with introducing yourself differently. Instead of leading with labels, try sharing what you're exploring, what you're curious about, or what you're in the process of becoming.
Notice how this shift changes not just how others see you, but how you see yourself. Notice the freedom that comes with not having to maintain a fixed image. Notice the aliveness that emerges when you're no longer defending a noun but expressing a verb.
You are not your job, your role, your past, or your circumstances. You are the conscious attention that moves through all these experiences, learning, growing, and continuously becoming.
You are a verb. Welcome to your freedom.
What labels have you been carrying that no longer serve you? What verb energy wants to emerge in your life? Share your insights below and let's explore this journey of becoming together.
