Being aware of the presence of our demise is as rare as the common sense necessary to count back change.
“Here’s your change, that’s $14.95 from $20, a nickel makes $15, and $5 makes $20.”
Counting change is a game where you start with the end in mind. What about starting or at least being aware of life with the end in mind because life does end, it’s a round trip.
If I knew the end of this life was tomorrow, or today, say after lunch would I: Repent?
Rue the moment?
Regret and moan to the end.
Or find my attention quite expansive?
Express emotions of gratitude? Would my mind become curious and interested? Would I be kinder and nicer?
A philosopher and teacher from the last century, wrote in his epic 1,238-page novel, All and Everything, “the sole means now for the saving of the beings of the planet Earth would be to implant …a new organ…that everyone of those unfortunates during the process of existence should constantly sense and be
cognizant of the inevitability of his own death as well as the death of everyone upon who his eyes or attention rests.”
Best-selling anthropologist, Carlos Castaneda, referred to death as constantly being over a spiritual warriors shoulder in his many books.
Simon and Garfunkel sang “♪So I’ll continue to pretend, my life will never end.”
Robbie Robertson, Bob Dylan’s first electric guitarist, picked up the theme on his The Native American album with the chant,
“♪It’s a good day to die♪.”
Put your life on the line.
What do I have to lose?
These clichéd lines of motivation; to not hold back, to get in the flow, to be all you can be, to leave it all on the court, are real!
Mainstream wisdom, from the righteous right to the liberal left, encourages us to be here now, to worship the moment.
Being present to what we love, family, friends, especially this moment. To go beyond our habits and inhabit the thoughts of how do I want to be when I die?
How do I want to be as I live?
We heard of the ‘Bucket List.” Those things to experience even appreciate before we ‘kick the bucket’.
I have an old friend who took this seriously; I mean dying is serious business, a business worthy of paying attention too. Here are some of what he wrote:*
“Is there a cool way to go?
How would you rather go, “MAKING LOVE or MAKING WAR?
“Leaving them Guessing or Leave them Groaning?
“Making a Difference or Making an Alibi?
“Trailblazing or Covering Your Tracks?
“Full of Passion or Full of Pills?
What’s a cool way to go?
“Laughing or Litigating?
“Singing or screaming?
“Praying or cursing?
”Loving or Blaming?”
The author and guru of Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote her way, “At home with lots of flowers, a large window and grandchildren playing by the bed.”
If you’re not appreciating this moment, what are you doing?
*101 Cool Ways to Die by Douglas Gillies
Fixated Attention
3 Monks
“One thing you probably remember well is anytime you forgive and forget. -F.P. Jones
I got my feelings hurt from a letter, and a non-letter. My attention got stuck somewhere between the land of "poor me", and "what did I do to deserve this"?
A garden variety upset.
With my stuck attention, my mind looping around a wrong committed or a right negated, is a chance to reconcile the humanness of an error, being blamed, stinking thinking or just feeling neglected.
I hope I am the only one who gave free service and never hears a word from the person again. Where a note, e-mail, or call was never returned. The term now is being “ghosted.”
What happened? What did I do?
Where am I not returning communication?
Who haven’t I thanked?
Here I am with my attention trapped, wondering what the other person is doing with the metaphorical ball I tossed at them.
There’s a story of two monks who had taken vows of chastity on a pilgrimage. They came to a stream where a prostitute sat, wanting to cross the stream. One of the monks obliged, picked up the woman and carried her across the stream. He placed her down and the two monks continued the pilgrimage. That evening as they prepared their meal, one monk spoke.
“Brother I cannot believe you carried that wanton woman across the stream.”
The other monk replied, “Are you still carrying her?”
Well I was still carrying.
There is a process I learned from a weekend seminar called ReSurfacing that oils one’s attention so it can slip off any fixation and return to the land of freedom. It requires a sincere effort, and it works every time.
I worked on the exercise and got my freedom back. But what about that lost relationship?
This time I got creative and hopefully humorous. I decided to write a story. Or find a metaphor, a cartoon, a fable, or a legend, while owning 100% of the experience and really, really wanting the other person to be free of any guilt, shame, upset, and once again become a friend. Here is a little of what I wrote.
Dear Friend,
Please forgive me, I took part in ‘second party gossip’, I thought I was saying what the as is, is. But I was wrong. I went to one of the new gods of cyberspace, Google, and found an article on gossip so I am clearer on the gossip process. Please do not take this as a lesson from me to you, merely an observation to a
friend, and a wish to clean our slate with some humor.
There were three pastors who were sharing stories together.
The first one said "I have a serious problem with lust."
The second one said "I hear you brother. I have a terrible
problem with greed and stealing.
The third one said "I have a problem with gossip, and I can't wait to get out of here and tell someone about you two!"
Your Friend Gary C.
