Amazing Tool

Submitted by webalchemist on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 15:34

 Here is a skill that is amazing.

  It is the key to service, and key to handling fear and connecting with your audience in public speaking.

            When in the presence of another person, be it a client, friend, lover, boss, clerk, or jerk, put your attention on them. Attention, not an agenda-i.e I need this sale, I hope they like me, I want a raise, you do what I want, but FREELY put you attention on them:
Here are benefits:
  • For a client, is there rapport; are they comfortable, do they have an agenda?
  • For a friend enjoy and cultivate the friendship by listening, encouraging conversation or quiet, tell a story, asking open-ended questions.
  • For a lover, am I receiving signals of cuddling, concern or xxx?
  • A boss, can have an agenda, can just be checking in, can be stressed.
  • A clerk may need a moment to put their attention on you, so give space and ask, “Can you help me?” Some clerks have taken the day off and it may be best to find one who is at home.
  • A jerk needs attention too, maybe more than most so listen, and get centered in where you want to go the jerk, and often its out the door.
Putting your attention on another person is not giving in to their will. It’s exercising your will in understanding where they are coming from. What do they want, what is their motivation: ie. Are they moving toward what they want or moving away from what they don’t want?
By placing your attention on the other person you don't get caught in your patterns-i.e., I need to be liked, or I don't like them, or they look strange, or this is like ‘that’ time.
Its the BE HERE NOW SECRET. All our fears, our negativity, unfilled dreams, and stinkin-thinkin exists within me so by stepping out of my inner world and into the outer world and putting your attention on other people you lose nothing, but what you have always done. You lose the inSAMEity of doing the same things and expecting different result.
It’s just your attention and what you do with it. Attention is what everyone wants, and when given freely people stop resisting, they listen to you, and by adding a self-initiated smile they smile back. They like us, we gain rapport and we do business with people who like us.
It’s a subtle skill we can learn from watching babies and young children. It’s free and easy and may move you out of a rut into a new groove.

 You can practice while shopping at the $ store-which  may be good stock investment in 2009.