Family, Friends & Forgiveness
The Sunday Morning Church of ATTENTION
Friends, Family & Forgiveness
“One thing you probably remember well is anytime you forgive and forget.-FP Jones
I got my feelings hurt from a letter and from a non-letter. My attention got stuck somewhere between the land of ‘poor me’ and ‘what did I do to deserve this’?
The stuck attention, the mind looping around a wrong committed or a right negated is a chance to reconcile the humanness of an err, being blamed or just neglected.
I hope I am the only one who gave free service and then never heard a word from the person again. Where a gentle note, e-mail or call was never returned.
What happened? What did I do? Where am I not returning communication? Who haven’t I thanked?
Here I am with my attention trapped, wondering what the other person is doing with that ball I tossed them.
There’s a story of two monks, who had taken vows of chastity on a pilgrimage. They came to a stream where sat a prostitute desiring to cross the stream. One of the monks obliged, picked up the woman and carried her across the stream. He placed her down and the two monks continued the pilgrimage. That evening as they prepared their meal, one monk spoke, “Brother I cannot believe you carried that wanton woman across the stream” The other monk replied, “Are you still carrying her?”
Well I was still carrying. There is a process I learned a process from a weekend seminar called Resurfacing that oils one’s attention so it can slip off any fixation, and return to the land of freedom, it requires a sincere effort, but it works every time.
Well I was still carrying. There is a process I learned a process from a weekend seminar called Resurfacing that oils one’s attention so it can slip off any fixation, and return to the land of freedom, it requires a sincere effort, but it works every time.
So I worked the exercise, and got my freedom back, but what about that lost relationship?
This time I got creative, compassionate and hopefully humorous. Write story, find a metaphor, a cartoon, a fable, a legend, a picture or a muse. Own 110% and really, really want the other person to be totally free of any guilt, shame, upset, and become a friend. . Here is a little of what I wrote.
Please forgive me, I participated in 2cd party gossip, I thought I was saying what the as is, is. But I was wrong. I went to one of the new gods of Cyberspace, Google and found an article on gossip, so I am clearer on the gossip process. Please do not take this as a lesson from me to you, merely an observation to a friend, and a wish to clean a slate.
There were three pastors who were sharing together. The first one said, "I have a serious problem with lust." The second one said, "I hear you, brother. I have a terrible problem with greed and stealing." The third one said, "I have a problem with gossip and I can't wait to get out of here and tell someone about you two!"
Namaste
Gary